We all want to be part of some larger ideal. We are looking for our tribe. That is why we choose to live in communities or select one particular church to join, or a school. But what happens when the group we have chosen to call our own is not serving us in the way we envisioned. Or what if one particular member is not adhering to the group “unwritten rule”?
According to Wikipedia group dynamics is defined as “a system of behaviors and psychological processes occurring within a social group or between social groups”. I have always felt that groups are made of people who either have a common interest, desire, and/or hobby. I have belonged to many during my lifetime and some have proven very successful while others have fallen away over time due to lack of communication, lives going into different directions or lack of cohesiveness.
One thing I have always looked for in a group is support. This support could take on many different shapes such as emotional, encouragement, and helpful. One thing I have always said that could derail these communities is a form of “backstabbing”. What do I mean by this? Well, if one group member has a personal motive and refuses to embrace other ideas or values then this will cause the group to splinter. If a member talks negatively about others the members will splinter into subgroups.
I have always felt that groups are there to support one another through hardships and boast each other during the good times.
So what happens when there is a group member who consistently does not encourage or support another? How does the group survive? How should members address the situation?
I am dealing with this issue right now and am at a loss. I am not a confrontational person by nature. I have fought fiercely for my children but when it comes to myself I usually back off. My instinct is to retreat and not say anything. Eventually easing out of the group. However, this time it feels different. I do not like how this group is being splintered especially when we all have a single mission. I don’t want to talk to others and get them involved since I don’t want to be talking about someone, however, I don’t know how to handle this issue.
How would you handle it?